Some people are best appreciated at a distance. You often hear the saying, everything happens for a reason, and many people apply this belief to love and career but it also speaks to our everyday relationships. Each person that has come into our lives whether for a period of days, years have arrived along our path to serve a purpose. Many time, we don’t full grasp when circumstances change and an individual no longer adds value to our lives and when we do realise this, often we have a hard time figuring out what to do. While it may seem somewhat harsh or insensitive to break ties, its perfectly healthy to cut people off.
Unfortunately, nobody can bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles that everyone could eat and be happy (Mean Girls reference, which is fitting because fake friends are rampant in that film).
Sometime in your life you will encounter someone that will pretend to be your friend or to like you, whether it be because they need to use you for something or for other reasons. Sometimes, it even starts out as a real friendship, and as time goes on, the quality of the friendship dwindles, and usually by one person’s doing. Encountering fake people seems to be a shared experience for most people, and so when you feel it’s time to do something about someone fake in your life, you might be criticised for “caring too much” about what other people, especially the fake kind, think of you.
But it’s not that simple, as you can form emotional ties even with these “fake” people, which makes ending the relationship that much harder. You might’ve shared some good times, and you may hold out hope for the relationship to flourish again, but 9 times out of 10 it won’t. And when a friendship becomes more draining then fulfilling. Its time to let it go.
Everybody has an expiry date – Lauryn Nwaeze
And you’ll know when its time to let them go.
When their presence becomes unsettling, don’t ignore the signs.
There comes a time when people no longer bring you joy and happiness. It’s a sign that things need to change.
When they want or take more than they give.
Relationships are an exchange. It takes two people mutually invested in making each other better. Relationships should never be more of a burden than a blessing. Everyone has that one friend that only calls or messages you when they need something or have nothing to do. It’s a horrible feeling to be taken advantage of. Cut it off quickly.
When you no longer trust them
Loyalty is everything. Once is comprised, things might never be the same. Your inner circle is suppose to be trustworthy. You can tell them anything and can trust that your business wont be the next topic of discussion at the next social gathering. Trust can take years to build and only a few moments to break. Those who claim a space in your inner circle must be trustworthy, reliable and genuinely concerned about what’s best for you. When the bond is broken, find a way to exit immediately.
( Inspired by conversations between Lauryn Nwaeze)